


Eridanslouz Sexy Tiems ;)

by bonaweab, Mochi_Tan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack, M/M, Tentacles, Yaoi, garbage, lolita outfit, neko, poor grammar, stupid, trash, trollfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:01:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7844125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonaweab/pseuds/bonaweab, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochi_Tan/pseuds/Mochi_Tan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan and Sollux have sex in a random bathroom and then fly off to Juppsiter to populate that planet with their babies. ...Or something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eridanslouz Sexy Tiems ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This was a present for a friend of mine who visited over the summer. She hated this pairing, so my friends and I decided to write this for her.
> 
> This is obviously very bad, and it was meant to look like a god-awful train wreck of a fanfic (what am I talking about? It is.). When we read this aloud to her, she didn't understand over half of this. Hooray! Keep in mind that this is intentionally awful. I obviously have a better grasp of language than this. 
> 
> There was an additional co-author: Chibi-Luon, who has a deviantart account. Unfortunately, I was unable to add them as a co-author in the official slot because they don't have an AO3 account. However, they were just as important to this literary tragedy as Mochi_Tan and myself.
> 
> And now, without further ado, please enjoy this fanfic...

Eridanslouz Sexxy Tiems ;) 

A/N: (okay guyz this iz me, xXxMasterOverpEnisEdgexXx and this is my my totallly hawt fanfic for EriSol and I kno a lot of u htaers out there don’t like it but if you dont liek it dont read!1!!11! I think its soooo kawaii and watashi daisuki watashi no pairing-kun >w< ) UWAAAH sors i cant halp kepping in my ja[ooabpanese self when i me xietd sors nah sorors 

Eridan was nakes in the local bathroomwhen Sollux walke in. Erdsn saw sOllux who wuz wearin a sacy lolita dress hHta dress was super prettyn jt haed allt hid lacce ruinin down the sides adn it had som corset shit running don the middl;e it was black liek solluzs soul and it was totally deep and eridan thought s it was hot (OK BLACK IS coLL don’t judge him hatrs) waywanyway sollx hda her hair up in to supps sxaxt pigtails nad htey were alll culry nad wavt ad ut swas so super HAWT U GUYS DNTO GETIT (OMRD i fogott twov say theT edirab ud najes b/c he waz masturvatin to my fanfuc losser haers ) 

Suxllo, dick n onee hnad, vibherator in the ohter, opera’d out“omg Eridan-Kun you are so sugoi pl0x sex me” and then Eridan-Kun replid in his deep, yaoi vois, his pointy chin moving sexily as he tokkd, “sollx dont wrory ur so kawaii Id be hapy too use mi thingy in your bum-bum ;)” sollxs facee wnet all fie-crion which eidann though ws soooooo kawaii and hetn soll.x plled hs MLP buttplg out of hisz bellybytteb becuz they bth loved that show, prod broniez( U HATES WGIHOO DONR L0UE MLP SHULDD JUS DIC IN FLAMMS,) and showd eridamn his thicc phat ass nd eridan was liek “w0w solx i luv ur thikkkk assitz siii cash monet” and sexllo said “I lv when u teaze me’ ad shkk his all arond the bathrm which was rly rly hot ad eridns boner hit the ciling and sllx gapsed rly loud so erryne herd it, and then erdin grabbd slx’s thikkkkk asz with his hge yowee handz. sLoluz flet ihs big thik cook pluslatte sas reind felt imh uppp and thn eridann spnked him and slx moned and cam all ovr the flor (he cam so fst cauz eridann was so sxy, sht up htrs this is rly relaistic askk wEbMmd) erdsn girned at g-slox blusged luke a samuria 

thin eiredan saids ‘riddy fir rundf twoh?’ 

And sulocdzxgo riply ‘foxc yis’ an gribbbed eriedsn andd leapet ott of teh butthrom ann=thoy floew tij Juppsiter beccus thuy ned a lottsa ruum for shxmey tims 

Suh tihiey strted fkin lik creezy and earidan turnd rond and then thy make ot, thir tongs dancn lik bby eels 

Bit than eruihdfin pludd oot an sed ‘ther no air so it’s hardd tidoo teh shm0x’

An suxllooo sei ‘uh nu buh mehbeh itll be mur funnnur if i wemake a suiityhalle 3 our new town an fk there’’ so they ade one usin ther kawaii magiks and flw there wth the pwr of luv (opwer uf lvue is REEL go axk yur MOm but haha yirr mosm’ dubuunm anywuai SHIITs Freid) n thn eridn rembrd how hawt his neko yoweez wre so he said “avada kedavra©” n sullxo became half-neko, half-angle, half-demoon, hal-anal, anid huff-animzal , and in trun, eribdean transsfom ntio a BIIIIG tent;easlsxzcle moestore (tEnts re sper hotse uand ayour wringr s=if youfe ndo thinek os tOO GTFO hatter) 

Earidin grabbd th sxy sluxxo with his huggie yai tenticlz nd sluoxx moand rly rly lowd again, butiw noet als lod ass whn anoerht tenankle sliferd into sluuiox’s hhapy plaec ;) 

‘UAghasghahgy Ersiadn ti fells sooooo hut’ monned SHullzo ‘i wnanaana maor’ he say wit taers in his eys az one hut an riddy tenetlace aws sevred into hiss but liiek a wram an moist harmbugre strait oot the oevn. Sollud coNNtineud to bip and frind against yhrr sopppr slipppery tentackle nad tsussfs. It wo z suppper hawt u gusys sudda bin thar (Yah i waus tehr yoi hatures andss i wasa waching ut a ll ans it waas sppeer funand seiuxy). Hten OHIMIGAWDDSS sluozee flet het ni hissa rum tum tum nda suddennduly ih EXPLODDED cummie cummie yummie yummie wnet VEVERYVWHERE SOOOOOO MEssAuSy edisan similed and sed ‘i;m prud my saon’ adn adn a geewb days dna nd now thy leve on Satrn az a bg hpy fmily

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, you finished it AND read this note?! Congrats! Have a spirit cookie. This was an awful lot of fun to write, and there are several sentences that I typed blindly at borderline-random. I hoped you liked it!


End file.
